You would think I would be a balancing pro right? I am a banker after all. Well, although I might be able to make a cash drawer with a lot of money in it balance, and on occasion even the vault, I can't seem to be able to balance my life. I just can't do it all.
Growing up I had a mom that could did it all. She was a full time college student when I was little. On top of being college student, she also worked a full time job. On top of the full time job and full time classes she was also a mommy and a wife. She handled her responsiblities with a sort of poise and confidence I have only really seen in her. Our house was always clean. Laundry was always done, my brother and I were always happy. Eventually mom graduated college, twice actually. The first time with her bachelors degree, the second with her masters. She eventually worked her way up the corporate ladder at a very prestigious company and landed herself a sweet corner office and a fancy CEO title. It is also true that I didn't grow up with a mom who was there all the time. She wasn't there when I got home from school, and for about 4 years she had a marketing job that required 70% travel. This of course wasn't while I was little, I was in middle school when she had that job. But I don't hold that against her, she did what she needed to do. She had big dreams and she made them happen. She showed us that hard work really does pay off, trust me it was NOT easy for her to get where she is now.
I guess my problem is I don't know how in the heck she did it. I have been pretty much going crazy lately. I work on Tuesday, Wendesday, Friday and Saturday. Alexxa is with a babysitter Tuesday and Wendesday, Raynor has her on Friday, and one of the Grandma's takes her on Saturday. She is all mine on Monday, Thursday, half of Saturday and all day Sunday. Raynor and I have oposite schedules so we don't have a day off together at all. If I'm off he is working, if I am working, he is off. I feel like things just don't get done around the house. On my days off the house is in desperate need of cleaning, but when I'm cleaning I feel guilty for not spending time with Alexxa, but when I don't clean I feel guilty my daughter doesn't have a clean house. Its just so hard to truly enjoy my time with her when I feel like I need to be playing "catch up" on all the stuff I didn't have time to do when I was working.
I also feel guilty that I am even complaining about this. There are a lot of women out there who are full time working moms and somehow make it work. Women like my mom who just seem to make it all work. I just wish I could figure out how to do it...
Friday, February 26, 2010
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Job Drama
Its safe to say, I am feeling just a little discouraged. I have been wanting so badly to get into the healthcare field. I enjoy helping people. Its what I am good at and passionate about. Some would argue that you help people in the banking world, and I'm not saying that isn't true, but I want to help people on a deeper level than that.
I have applied for maybe 15 entry level healthcare-related jobs. Nothing extremely complicated or anything, basic entry level mostly receptionist-like positions. They don't pay much, but I don't care. All I want is a job that will expose me to the terminology and pace of the field so that I can learn. A company I can move up within is desirable too, but not a must. And I am sad to say I have not even gotten a call for an interview. All I get back are stupid little emails saying thanks for your interest and good luck with your search, but you don't have enough experience to work here.
Well where the heck do these people expect me to get my experience? Somebody would have to hire me first!
I guess maybe I'm a little torked (to say the least) because I have never really applied for a job that I haven't gotten. Not to sound cocky, but I do tend to interview really well and I guess I just say the right things. One of my hidden talents I guess. Candy, the manager that first hired me when I started to work at Bank of America said, that even though I had no banking, or really even any money-related experience at the time that I blew it out of the water with at my interview. She took a chance on me when she hired me. It was a good thing that she did, because I have been pretty successful. Naomi told me last week that I could go far in banking if I wanted too, which was very flattering to hear from someone in her position. However not what I want to do with my life. Being the amazing person she is, she completely supports my decision.
So I guess I hope and pray that someone sitting at their desk in an HR department will come across my resume and decide to AT LEAST give me an interview. If I just had the chance to go in there and tell them how badly I want into the field and that I am so excited get back into school and become a nurse. Maybe even some day a Nurse Practioner. What I need is for someone to take a chance on me the way Candy did. I know I am a hard worker. I know that I wouldn't dissapoint them. And I know I can do this. If I at least got in interview and then still got rejected, at least I would then know I did the best I could.
Anyways, I guess the only thing I can do is keep sending in my resumes. Eventually maybe someone will contact me for an interview.
I have applied for maybe 15 entry level healthcare-related jobs. Nothing extremely complicated or anything, basic entry level mostly receptionist-like positions. They don't pay much, but I don't care. All I want is a job that will expose me to the terminology and pace of the field so that I can learn. A company I can move up within is desirable too, but not a must. And I am sad to say I have not even gotten a call for an interview. All I get back are stupid little emails saying thanks for your interest and good luck with your search, but you don't have enough experience to work here.
Well where the heck do these people expect me to get my experience? Somebody would have to hire me first!
I guess maybe I'm a little torked (to say the least) because I have never really applied for a job that I haven't gotten. Not to sound cocky, but I do tend to interview really well and I guess I just say the right things. One of my hidden talents I guess. Candy, the manager that first hired me when I started to work at Bank of America said, that even though I had no banking, or really even any money-related experience at the time that I blew it out of the water with at my interview. She took a chance on me when she hired me. It was a good thing that she did, because I have been pretty successful. Naomi told me last week that I could go far in banking if I wanted too, which was very flattering to hear from someone in her position. However not what I want to do with my life. Being the amazing person she is, she completely supports my decision.
So I guess I hope and pray that someone sitting at their desk in an HR department will come across my resume and decide to AT LEAST give me an interview. If I just had the chance to go in there and tell them how badly I want into the field and that I am so excited get back into school and become a nurse. Maybe even some day a Nurse Practioner. What I need is for someone to take a chance on me the way Candy did. I know I am a hard worker. I know that I wouldn't dissapoint them. And I know I can do this. If I at least got in interview and then still got rejected, at least I would then know I did the best I could.
Anyways, I guess the only thing I can do is keep sending in my resumes. Eventually maybe someone will contact me for an interview.
Saturday, February 6, 2010
No more excuses....
I've decided that I will no longer be making excuses for myself. I am tired of sitting around complaining about my body and being close to tears in dressing rooms when I try on clothes. If I don't do anything about it, then I shouldn't complain right?
Lately, I have been very inspired by some friends and co-workers. They are all busy people with jobs and families and if they can find time in their day to work out and take care of themselves then why can't I? My mom is a hard core business woman who works 100+ hours a week and she still finds time to go for her walks! Even when she is on business trips, she takes her sneakers and sweat pants and heads for the hotel gym while she's there. So, I know I can do it, its just a matter of making it happen, and that part is only up to me. I mean really all it would take is 30 minutes to an hour to head to the gym, and since we have one here at our apartment I would just have to walk across the parking lot. There really is no excuse for not going over there. It is open 24/7 so I could go when Alexxa is asleep for the night, or in the morning.
Last night I started looking online at spring/summer clothes. I didn't have to really go through that torture last year, because I was pregnant, and well I never had a problem with maturnity clothes. They just always looked good on me! But this summer is going to be different. I will not be pregnant, and I would rather not sit around feeling sorry for myself not wanting to go to the pool and flat out refusing to put on shorts. I have always hated my legs. And does it seem like the shorts just keep getting shorter every year? I think they do! The last few years I have only wore capri pants or burmuda shorts because I have been sooooo self concious about my legs. Raynor is always encouraging that I look fine, but I dont listen lol! But this year, I am determined to wear real shorts and feel confident about myself. I'm definitely not saying I want to dress like a hoochie mama, but I would like to be able to wear real summer clothes and not feel terrible about it.
Anyways, here is what I am going to do. I am going to start out small, and easy. I am going to commit to going to the gym 5 days a week for no more than an hour. And I will start on something easy like the epliptical or the treadmill. I have always enjoyed the eliptical because I can go a long time on it without getting tired, and I think its a pretty good work out for your legs and theighs. As far as food goes, I'm just going to start eating healthier, and cutting down the amount that I would normally eat. You see, with me its more about portion control because I really can eat a lot if I want too! The other night I had 1 slice of pizza instead of my usual 3 and I was prefectly fine and no longer hungry. I will not totally give up the treats either. I don't think its wrong to treat yourself to some ice cream once a week, or some yummy popcorn at the movies. But there are also healthier options for treats too. I think frozen yogurt is delicious and its also WAY less calories.
Anyways, this is my commitment to myself. I know I can do it, and maybe for once in long time I will feel good about myself this summer! Go me!
Lately, I have been very inspired by some friends and co-workers. They are all busy people with jobs and families and if they can find time in their day to work out and take care of themselves then why can't I? My mom is a hard core business woman who works 100+ hours a week and she still finds time to go for her walks! Even when she is on business trips, she takes her sneakers and sweat pants and heads for the hotel gym while she's there. So, I know I can do it, its just a matter of making it happen, and that part is only up to me. I mean really all it would take is 30 minutes to an hour to head to the gym, and since we have one here at our apartment I would just have to walk across the parking lot. There really is no excuse for not going over there. It is open 24/7 so I could go when Alexxa is asleep for the night, or in the morning.
Last night I started looking online at spring/summer clothes. I didn't have to really go through that torture last year, because I was pregnant, and well I never had a problem with maturnity clothes. They just always looked good on me! But this summer is going to be different. I will not be pregnant, and I would rather not sit around feeling sorry for myself not wanting to go to the pool and flat out refusing to put on shorts. I have always hated my legs. And does it seem like the shorts just keep getting shorter every year? I think they do! The last few years I have only wore capri pants or burmuda shorts because I have been sooooo self concious about my legs. Raynor is always encouraging that I look fine, but I dont listen lol! But this year, I am determined to wear real shorts and feel confident about myself. I'm definitely not saying I want to dress like a hoochie mama, but I would like to be able to wear real summer clothes and not feel terrible about it.
Anyways, here is what I am going to do. I am going to start out small, and easy. I am going to commit to going to the gym 5 days a week for no more than an hour. And I will start on something easy like the epliptical or the treadmill. I have always enjoyed the eliptical because I can go a long time on it without getting tired, and I think its a pretty good work out for your legs and theighs. As far as food goes, I'm just going to start eating healthier, and cutting down the amount that I would normally eat. You see, with me its more about portion control because I really can eat a lot if I want too! The other night I had 1 slice of pizza instead of my usual 3 and I was prefectly fine and no longer hungry. I will not totally give up the treats either. I don't think its wrong to treat yourself to some ice cream once a week, or some yummy popcorn at the movies. But there are also healthier options for treats too. I think frozen yogurt is delicious and its also WAY less calories.
Anyways, this is my commitment to myself. I know I can do it, and maybe for once in long time I will feel good about myself this summer! Go me!
Thursday, February 4, 2010
Career Changes
Its really no secret that I haven't been happy at the bank for quite some time. Its not the people, or really even the job, banking is just clearly not for me. I feel like I have been there long enough now (4 years) to know if it is really for me or not. And clearly...its not!
I've been doing a lot of thinking lately and came to the obvious conclusion that it is time for a career change. Its taken me months of thinking and a lot of weighing back and forth, but I think that being a nurse would be the perfect job for me. I don't faint at the sight of blood, I'm not squeemish, and some of the gross things that nurses have to do, wouldn't really phase me. It also pays very well, not that money is everything, but it certainly helps! I also would be helping people, which is my biggest passion. The hours are also amazing! I would be working 12 hour shifts 3 days a week. And if I wanted to I could work nights, so I would only be away from Alexxa when she is sleeping.
So obviously I need to get back into school, which I am planning on doing this summer. In the meantime though, I feel like I need a change of sceanery. Something that will expose me to the medical world, so I can learn the terminology and also a company that I can grow within. I've applied for several jobs at various different hospitals. Since I have just begun my search, I haven't got any phone calls yet. I really don't expect the right opportunity to come along very soon though, just because I don't have any experience in the medical field and there are so many qualified applicants out there right now. I am really crossing my fingers to work for Legacy. They are such a great company, and they would help me pay for a portion of my nursing school. I can take a lot of the certifications at the hospital actually, and at my favorite price...FREE! I have applied for I think...like 3 or 4 positions there so hopefully something will work out. I'm not even looking to make a lot of money, just to learn.
Right now, I am probably the happiest I have ever been since working at the bank. I have a great team at work, and a manager that truly supports and cares about her employees. Because she has been so fabulous and has supported me in all my personal and career decisions, I decided I didn't want to leave her in the dark about all this. I would have felt really bad if she had gotten a phone call about me applying for jobs elsewhere and got the wrong idea. So last week I decided to sit down and talk to Naomi about it. I wasn't really sure if it was the right decision, but what was the worst thing that could have happened? And she was more than supportive of me! She said she wants all of her employees to be happy and fallow their dreams. And she asked me to keep her in the loop about interviews and things. That made me feel so much better about it!
I am so excited about the possiblilities of this new adventure! Wish me luck!
I've been doing a lot of thinking lately and came to the obvious conclusion that it is time for a career change. Its taken me months of thinking and a lot of weighing back and forth, but I think that being a nurse would be the perfect job for me. I don't faint at the sight of blood, I'm not squeemish, and some of the gross things that nurses have to do, wouldn't really phase me. It also pays very well, not that money is everything, but it certainly helps! I also would be helping people, which is my biggest passion. The hours are also amazing! I would be working 12 hour shifts 3 days a week. And if I wanted to I could work nights, so I would only be away from Alexxa when she is sleeping.
So obviously I need to get back into school, which I am planning on doing this summer. In the meantime though, I feel like I need a change of sceanery. Something that will expose me to the medical world, so I can learn the terminology and also a company that I can grow within. I've applied for several jobs at various different hospitals. Since I have just begun my search, I haven't got any phone calls yet. I really don't expect the right opportunity to come along very soon though, just because I don't have any experience in the medical field and there are so many qualified applicants out there right now. I am really crossing my fingers to work for Legacy. They are such a great company, and they would help me pay for a portion of my nursing school. I can take a lot of the certifications at the hospital actually, and at my favorite price...FREE! I have applied for I think...like 3 or 4 positions there so hopefully something will work out. I'm not even looking to make a lot of money, just to learn.
Right now, I am probably the happiest I have ever been since working at the bank. I have a great team at work, and a manager that truly supports and cares about her employees. Because she has been so fabulous and has supported me in all my personal and career decisions, I decided I didn't want to leave her in the dark about all this. I would have felt really bad if she had gotten a phone call about me applying for jobs elsewhere and got the wrong idea. So last week I decided to sit down and talk to Naomi about it. I wasn't really sure if it was the right decision, but what was the worst thing that could have happened? And she was more than supportive of me! She said she wants all of her employees to be happy and fallow their dreams. And she asked me to keep her in the loop about interviews and things. That made me feel so much better about it!
I am so excited about the possiblilities of this new adventure! Wish me luck!
Monday, February 1, 2010
My first sick day as a mommy
I think one of the biggest challenges of motherhood is when your sick. You see, when your a mom you can't just lay around and be lazy and feel sorry for yourself when sick. I am a huge baby and wimp, so typically thats what I do when I don't feel well. I lay around in bed, while Raynor waits on me. I eat chicken noodle soup and catch up on all my daytime soaps. But now that I am a mommy, those days are over. Life must go on, no matter how crappy I feel.
These last few days I have had major neck and shoulder pain and I've been feeling really crappy. This morning was worse though. I woke up to Alexxa talking and cooing and being all cute in her crib. Raynor said he would go in and get her while I made her bottle. Usually when he is home, I insist on going in and getting her because shes all happy and smilily and its my favorite time of the day with her. But today because my neck has been so sore, I didn't want to lift her so I had him get her up and changed while I made the bottle. Well, let me tell ya, I made it to the kitchen, opened the cupboard to get the bottle and made a straight b-line for the bathroom. My head was spinning, and I was all of the sudden very nauseous. I've thrown up a few times, right now I feel a little better but still really tired and weak. I really don't think its the flu, its probably got something to do with my neck pain I've had. I have been taking some really strong pain killers, and I have always been sensitive to narcotic pain medication. Raynor didn't want to go to work, but he doesn't have any paid time for sick days and we really can't afford for him to take an unpaid day. I called my mom and she has meetings scheduled for the whole day at work. She said if it gets really bad to call her though, and she could leave if she HAD too.
So far today, Alexxa has been pretty good. She played on the floor this morning for a bit under her play gym. When she got tired of that she did alright in her swing, and now she is laying with me in my bed. She seems to be pretty content with me right here next to her. Soon, it will be time for her morning nap so I'm hoping she gives me a good one today.
Anyways, please keep me in your rhoughts and prayers today, its going to be tough.
These last few days I have had major neck and shoulder pain and I've been feeling really crappy. This morning was worse though. I woke up to Alexxa talking and cooing and being all cute in her crib. Raynor said he would go in and get her while I made her bottle. Usually when he is home, I insist on going in and getting her because shes all happy and smilily and its my favorite time of the day with her. But today because my neck has been so sore, I didn't want to lift her so I had him get her up and changed while I made the bottle. Well, let me tell ya, I made it to the kitchen, opened the cupboard to get the bottle and made a straight b-line for the bathroom. My head was spinning, and I was all of the sudden very nauseous. I've thrown up a few times, right now I feel a little better but still really tired and weak. I really don't think its the flu, its probably got something to do with my neck pain I've had. I have been taking some really strong pain killers, and I have always been sensitive to narcotic pain medication. Raynor didn't want to go to work, but he doesn't have any paid time for sick days and we really can't afford for him to take an unpaid day. I called my mom and she has meetings scheduled for the whole day at work. She said if it gets really bad to call her though, and she could leave if she HAD too.
So far today, Alexxa has been pretty good. She played on the floor this morning for a bit under her play gym. When she got tired of that she did alright in her swing, and now she is laying with me in my bed. She seems to be pretty content with me right here next to her. Soon, it will be time for her morning nap so I'm hoping she gives me a good one today.
Anyways, please keep me in your rhoughts and prayers today, its going to be tough.
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Going back to reality...
A week from tomorrow I will be heading back to work. Its a very bittersweat thing for me to do. I know I have to do what I have to do, so I am looking forward to settling into my new routine. Raynor and I ran the numbers and put it all out on paper and it just wasn't possible for me to stay home with her full time. However, with the price of childcare we decided it would be the best choice for me to go back part time. I stepped down from the Sales and Service Specialist postition, and decided to be a part time 20-30 hour teller. I am really looking forward to it, I'm not going to miss the stress of my old job. My work days will be Wendesday, Thursday, Friday and half a day on Saturday. Other than that I will be home with Alexxa. Wendesday and Thursday one of my best friends will be taking care of her, so its comforting to know she is in good hands. Friday is Raynor's day off so obviously, I know she will be in great hands with him. The sadest part of this whole arrangement is that Raynor and I no longer have a day off together, and that will be so hard for us. We enjoy our family days with Alexxa and our fun little date days where we just go and do whatever. Raynor will be working 6 days a week starting on Saturday then Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wendesday, and Thursday with Friday being his only day off. It will be hard, but I guess we are just running on hope that things will start to turn around and he will be able to find a new job.
Tomorrow I am going to spend the day going through all my clothes. Since I got pregnant and my work wardrobe was all maturnity clothes, I really can't remember what I have for work clothes and what I might need. I know I definitely need some new pants and skirts. My old ones still fit, as in I can wear them, but my body is just a little different now that I've had a baby so I don't like the way the look anymore. I got some money for Christmas though, so I think some evening next week I'm going to head to the mall and see what I can find.
Raynor and I also came up with a new budget this week. We are really going to change the way we spend our money. I went through our bank account with a calculator and added up all out unnecessary expenses. Let me tell you, the number made me sick! We are going to stick to the budget we made up for a few months and see where it takes us. If we are doing ok, I might be able to cut my hours down at work even more and work. But we would rather play it safe and have extra money than not enough.
Anyways, keep me in your thoughts and prayers next week. It will be hard for me, but I'm tough and I think I can handle it.
Tomorrow I am going to spend the day going through all my clothes. Since I got pregnant and my work wardrobe was all maturnity clothes, I really can't remember what I have for work clothes and what I might need. I know I definitely need some new pants and skirts. My old ones still fit, as in I can wear them, but my body is just a little different now that I've had a baby so I don't like the way the look anymore. I got some money for Christmas though, so I think some evening next week I'm going to head to the mall and see what I can find.
Raynor and I also came up with a new budget this week. We are really going to change the way we spend our money. I went through our bank account with a calculator and added up all out unnecessary expenses. Let me tell you, the number made me sick! We are going to stick to the budget we made up for a few months and see where it takes us. If we are doing ok, I might be able to cut my hours down at work even more and work. But we would rather play it safe and have extra money than not enough.
Anyways, keep me in your thoughts and prayers next week. It will be hard for me, but I'm tough and I think I can handle it.
Saturday, December 26, 2009
Another year gone...
Is it just me or does it seem like the older we get, the faster the years go? It certainly feels this way to me. I remember back when I was in school (which wasn't really that long ago) the years would just drag on and on. I remember sitting on the bleachers at my freshmen year orientation feeling like 4 years was a lifetime. And it did feel that way until June 11, 2004 while I was sitting on the track with my classmates in my cap and gown about to graduate! At that point it was hard to imagine where all that time had gone. High school is not one of my fondest memories, but there were some good times, but a lot of anger and frustration in those years as well. My little brother is about to turn 20 on January 10th and I have told him several times not to feel so bad about leaving those teen years behind. My 20's have been waaaay more fun than the teen years!
So let's get to the reason I am writing this blog. The year 2009. The first thoughts that come to mind are, "WOW! What a wirlwind!" If someone told me last year on New Years that I would be where I am right now at the beginning of 2010 I would have probably laughed and thought no possible way. The year 2009 has been one of the best and also hardest of my life. There have been loved ones lost, new ones born, relationships that have fallen apart, new friends that have come into our lives and then some that have fallen out of our lives. The year started out very rocky for Raynor and I. At the time I was have issues at work, really hating my job at the time, our bad financial desisions had finally started to bite us in the butt, and Raynor's hours had been cut nearly in half at work. Towards the end of January, we made the tough decision to move out of our condo. Soon after that, we got the biggest suprise of all. Two little pink lines on a pregnancy test. And it could not have come at a worse time. We found out right when we were in the middle of packing up our condo, about 2 weeks before we had to move. At a time when we needed eachother more than ever we were parting ways. Not breaking up, but I was moving home to my parents house and Raynor moved in with a friend. We decided it was the best option, so we would have time to save up our money and pay off some debt. That was probably the worst part of the entire year. It was also one of the best decisions we have ever made, as hard as it was. We were able to build our savings, and pay off some credit cards. As the month of April started to approach, and I got further into my pregnancy, we decided we were ready to find a new place. At first it was really discouraging. It seemed like everything was out of our budget. We had found a perfect apartment in Wilsonville that we fell in love with, but they didn't allow dogs. I was SO upset! About a week after that I was surfing Craigslist for places and came across an add for an apartment complex in Tualatin that Raynor and I had actually toured about a year earlier. We really liked it, but it was out of our price range at the time. However, because of the bad economy they had dropped their prices a bit and were running some killer specials! The very next day we headed in to check it out. We liked the apartment even more so than we had before. Its 2 bedroom 2 bath and very spacious. To make things even better the application fees were only 15 dollars each, they waived the move in fee, and we got our first month's rent for free. We wasted no time applying, soon got approved and moved in at the end of April. Finally it there was some light at the end of the dark tunnel! I still absolutely love where we live. This place feels more like home to me than anywhere else we have ever lived, even the fancy condo.
The spring and summer of 2009 were awesome. Well except for the heat. I was very miserable during all that heat! Of course one of the hottest summers in history was the one that I was pregnant haha! But it was all worth it. In May I transferred to a new branch. I stayed with the same position, but the move was a good one for me. I had been working out in Cedar Mill for 9 months and it was ok, but the drive was long and the robbery that we had in November of 2008 had really got to me. So when the market told me they wanted to transfer me to the Washington Square branch I was more than willing. I was there from May through September when I went on maturnity leave and I loved it. The rest of the summer kept us busy with an awesome vacation to the Raynor's family cabin on the snake river, baby preparations, and lots of family time. Before we knew it September snuck up on us! On the 9th of September my doctor decided to pull me out of work because little miss Alexxa was wanting to come out earlier than she was supposed too. It wouldn't have been a terrible situation because it was so close my due date, but they wanted her to wait until at least 38 weeks idealy. He didn't put my on bed rest, due to the fact that it was so close and she would have been fine. But if she did come earlier than 38 weeks I wouldn't have been able to have her at the hospital I wanted too, and my doctor doesn't have privilages at Emanuel (where we would have gone if she came early) so I didn't want that at all! Instead of bed rest he told me to take it really easy. Doing light chores around the house was fine, going to the store, family's houses stuff like that was ok, but I wasn't supposed to be doing any major activity. I of course took his advice and layed low for a few weeks. I still had majorly painful contractions though and it was really miserable! Finally at my 37 week appointment I asked him when, if ever he would be willing to "help" me go into labor so I could stop being miserable. He said he would induce me at 39 weeks considering everything seemed favorable at my 38 week appointment. He went ahead and scheduled the induction for October 6th, contingent on the 38 week appointment being all good. To my luck it was, and we were able to go ahead with October 6th. I remember that morning just like it was yesterday morning. I only slept until 3am and after that I was too excited to sleep. I called the hospital at 5am as my doctor had instructed me too, and they said there was room for us and to come on in at 7am! Raynor packed the car while I showered and got ready. It was so surreal leaving our apartment knowing that when we came back we would have a baby with us! Sure enough at 9pm on October 6th Alexxa Rae come into the world. It was a wonderful, perfect experience. I wouldn't have wanted it any other way.
The last few months have been like a dream. Bank of America has a great family leave program. I have been very fortunate to be able to spend the last 3 months at home with her. She amazes me more every day. I can't even believe that in 2 weeks she will be 3 months old. So crazy. All she does is laugh and smile now and she has gotten so chubby! I was looking at her newborn pictures this morning and all the baby pudge is certainly new! She was such an itty bitty thing when she was born.
Wendesday the 6th of January I will be going back to work. Raynor and I came up with the best situation we could pull off and I think it will work out nicely for now. I am not going back to the bank as the Sales and Service Specialist. I decided to step down to a part time 25-30 hour teller. It will be nice, I will not miss the stress of my old job. My work days will be Wendesday, Thursday, Friday, and half a day Saturday. My very good friend Ticia will be watching Alexxa on Wendesday and Thursday and Raynor will have her Friday. My mom and Raynor's mom will rotate Saturdays and other than that I will be home with her. Our goal is for me to eventually be home with her full time, but until that is possible this arragement will have to work. I'm actually looking forward to getting back to "normal".
I'm so excited to see what the New Year will bring. I have a feeling its going to be great. Hopefully the economy will start to turn back around, and there will be more jobs. Its hard to believe that this time next year I will have a little 1 year old toddling around. Its a crazy world we live in!
So let's get to the reason I am writing this blog. The year 2009. The first thoughts that come to mind are, "WOW! What a wirlwind!" If someone told me last year on New Years that I would be where I am right now at the beginning of 2010 I would have probably laughed and thought no possible way. The year 2009 has been one of the best and also hardest of my life. There have been loved ones lost, new ones born, relationships that have fallen apart, new friends that have come into our lives and then some that have fallen out of our lives. The year started out very rocky for Raynor and I. At the time I was have issues at work, really hating my job at the time, our bad financial desisions had finally started to bite us in the butt, and Raynor's hours had been cut nearly in half at work. Towards the end of January, we made the tough decision to move out of our condo. Soon after that, we got the biggest suprise of all. Two little pink lines on a pregnancy test. And it could not have come at a worse time. We found out right when we were in the middle of packing up our condo, about 2 weeks before we had to move. At a time when we needed eachother more than ever we were parting ways. Not breaking up, but I was moving home to my parents house and Raynor moved in with a friend. We decided it was the best option, so we would have time to save up our money and pay off some debt. That was probably the worst part of the entire year. It was also one of the best decisions we have ever made, as hard as it was. We were able to build our savings, and pay off some credit cards. As the month of April started to approach, and I got further into my pregnancy, we decided we were ready to find a new place. At first it was really discouraging. It seemed like everything was out of our budget. We had found a perfect apartment in Wilsonville that we fell in love with, but they didn't allow dogs. I was SO upset! About a week after that I was surfing Craigslist for places and came across an add for an apartment complex in Tualatin that Raynor and I had actually toured about a year earlier. We really liked it, but it was out of our price range at the time. However, because of the bad economy they had dropped their prices a bit and were running some killer specials! The very next day we headed in to check it out. We liked the apartment even more so than we had before. Its 2 bedroom 2 bath and very spacious. To make things even better the application fees were only 15 dollars each, they waived the move in fee, and we got our first month's rent for free. We wasted no time applying, soon got approved and moved in at the end of April. Finally it there was some light at the end of the dark tunnel! I still absolutely love where we live. This place feels more like home to me than anywhere else we have ever lived, even the fancy condo.
The spring and summer of 2009 were awesome. Well except for the heat. I was very miserable during all that heat! Of course one of the hottest summers in history was the one that I was pregnant haha! But it was all worth it. In May I transferred to a new branch. I stayed with the same position, but the move was a good one for me. I had been working out in Cedar Mill for 9 months and it was ok, but the drive was long and the robbery that we had in November of 2008 had really got to me. So when the market told me they wanted to transfer me to the Washington Square branch I was more than willing. I was there from May through September when I went on maturnity leave and I loved it. The rest of the summer kept us busy with an awesome vacation to the Raynor's family cabin on the snake river, baby preparations, and lots of family time. Before we knew it September snuck up on us! On the 9th of September my doctor decided to pull me out of work because little miss Alexxa was wanting to come out earlier than she was supposed too. It wouldn't have been a terrible situation because it was so close my due date, but they wanted her to wait until at least 38 weeks idealy. He didn't put my on bed rest, due to the fact that it was so close and she would have been fine. But if she did come earlier than 38 weeks I wouldn't have been able to have her at the hospital I wanted too, and my doctor doesn't have privilages at Emanuel (where we would have gone if she came early) so I didn't want that at all! Instead of bed rest he told me to take it really easy. Doing light chores around the house was fine, going to the store, family's houses stuff like that was ok, but I wasn't supposed to be doing any major activity. I of course took his advice and layed low for a few weeks. I still had majorly painful contractions though and it was really miserable! Finally at my 37 week appointment I asked him when, if ever he would be willing to "help" me go into labor so I could stop being miserable. He said he would induce me at 39 weeks considering everything seemed favorable at my 38 week appointment. He went ahead and scheduled the induction for October 6th, contingent on the 38 week appointment being all good. To my luck it was, and we were able to go ahead with October 6th. I remember that morning just like it was yesterday morning. I only slept until 3am and after that I was too excited to sleep. I called the hospital at 5am as my doctor had instructed me too, and they said there was room for us and to come on in at 7am! Raynor packed the car while I showered and got ready. It was so surreal leaving our apartment knowing that when we came back we would have a baby with us! Sure enough at 9pm on October 6th Alexxa Rae come into the world. It was a wonderful, perfect experience. I wouldn't have wanted it any other way.
The last few months have been like a dream. Bank of America has a great family leave program. I have been very fortunate to be able to spend the last 3 months at home with her. She amazes me more every day. I can't even believe that in 2 weeks she will be 3 months old. So crazy. All she does is laugh and smile now and she has gotten so chubby! I was looking at her newborn pictures this morning and all the baby pudge is certainly new! She was such an itty bitty thing when she was born.
Wendesday the 6th of January I will be going back to work. Raynor and I came up with the best situation we could pull off and I think it will work out nicely for now. I am not going back to the bank as the Sales and Service Specialist. I decided to step down to a part time 25-30 hour teller. It will be nice, I will not miss the stress of my old job. My work days will be Wendesday, Thursday, Friday, and half a day Saturday. My very good friend Ticia will be watching Alexxa on Wendesday and Thursday and Raynor will have her Friday. My mom and Raynor's mom will rotate Saturdays and other than that I will be home with her. Our goal is for me to eventually be home with her full time, but until that is possible this arragement will have to work. I'm actually looking forward to getting back to "normal".
I'm so excited to see what the New Year will bring. I have a feeling its going to be great. Hopefully the economy will start to turn back around, and there will be more jobs. Its hard to believe that this time next year I will have a little 1 year old toddling around. Its a crazy world we live in!
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