Alexxa is one month old!!!

Well...almost. Tomorrow night at 9pm she will officially be four weeks old. And technically she won't be a whole month old until Friday, the 6th at 9pm. But just the same its just a few days away. All I can think is, WOW...what a whirlwind! I'm not just talking the last four weeks but more like the last 10 months. It does not seem like a whole 9 months ago I found out I was pregnant. Raynor and I were so shocked and freaked out. We had no idea how the heck we were going to do this. But eventually that shock and fear turned into utter excitement and anticipation for the big day to get here when we would actually get to hold our little sweetpea in our arms and see who she looks like. I remember thinking that 9 months was a lifetime away. It seemed as if we would never actually get to meet her. But over those months the baby paraphenelia rolled in, we put together an adorable nursery, Raynor spent a whole Sunday afternoon making sure the carseat was installed just right, and before we knew it, it was the early hours of Tuesday October 6th. Raynor and I were laying in bed both unable to get any sleep, because we knew that in just hours we would be parents. Finally 5am came and it was time to get up and get ready. I called the hospital just to double check they had room for us and sure enough we were given the green light to come on in. I took a shower, and Raynor packed the car. We got to the hospital, checked in, and settled into our room. They started the petocin around 8am, broke my water around 10am, and then I got my epidural around 11. Before I knew it, it was time to start pushing. I remember so vividly opening my eyes, looking at the doctor and seeing her place Alexxa on my tummy. It was so surreal to finally see her. It seemed like 2 seconds later we were packing up our stuff and heading home!
The last four weeks have been some of the most amazing, fun, exhausting, hormonal, crazy days of our lives. It has been so amazing to watch her grow. She has already changed so much. If I could go back and do it again, or when we have our second baby (which won't be for another 2 years!) I would definitely charish the pregnancy more. I was in such a huge hurry to get it overwith and have her here, that I really didn't take the time to enjoy it like I should have. And now I look back and actually find myself missing it. Not so much that I want to jump back into it of course :) But I think pregnancy is a special time, that sadly not every women gets to experience no matter how badly she may want too. I thank God every day that he has given me such a beautiful, healthy baby girl. She is just the light of our world. And I pray that some day he blesses us with two (or maybe even three) more. We'll see. I have always wanted to have a big family.
Today I was reflecting back to a couple months ago how stressed out I was about how this was all going to play out. If we were going to have enough money, feeling guilty that Alexxa was coming home to a small apartment, what we would do about childcare, ect. And now I look at how things are going and we are just fine. We may not have a lot of money, we don't have the house we want, and I still don't know what we will do about childcare. But I know everything is ok. In fact we are better than just ok, we are so happy. We have a beautiful, healthy baby girl who makes us smile every day. And we have eachother. Some day when we can afford to have that house we want, it will mean so much more. :)