Raynor has a new job!!!

Well finally! Something we have been hoping would happen for years. Raynor finally has a new job! I can't even begin to express how uplifting this is for us. The poor guy has been trying to make this happen forever, and I am so proud of him for not giving up.
Yesterday, Raynor had an interview with Les Schwab. My dad has worked for Les Schwab for over 3o years and the company has really taken care of him. Raynor has been trying to get in for over a year now, but with the bad economy there hasn't been much avaiblible and even when there is there are just so many other qualified people.
Saturday afternoon the assistant manager of the Orenco store called Raynor and said they wanted to meet with him. So Raynor got a nice outfit together and found someone to watch Alexxa and headed out to the interview yesterday. He was really nervous, and I was feeling for him all day while I was at work. We talked about it together and decided that no matter what the outcome, whats meant to be will have its way and we would be ok with it. Well, today the assistant manager called and offered him a job!! Its a 40 hour position and the benefits the company offers are amazing! He doesn't have to pay for health insurance for himself, or his family. Its all covered by the company! That is amazing! Pretty much unheard of. Not to mention the retirement benefits are amazing and there is plenty of potential to move up. Although advancing in the company could mean at some point we would have to relocate, we will cross that bridge when we get there. This job is what we need for right now.
Finally it feels like we can start moving ahead in life. We will be able to start making progress on our debts, and hopefully someday we will be able to live off one income. For right now though, we are finally taking a step forward and we are in a better position than we were yesterday.

Me and the Gym

I am going to be totally honest here. I hate working out. I always have. And I think it is because I am a bit of a princess. I don't like to get dirty, and I don't like to sweat...eewww. And working out involves all of that.
I am the first to whine and complain about my body. I hate what I see in the mirror and yet I don't do anything about it. And as bad as this sounds I would much rather just not eat than sweat at the gym for an hour. Thats not to say that I don't enjoy food. Late night eating is one of my biggest problems.
I've always had a fast metabolism. Up until a couple years ago I could lose 10 pound by simply living on cottage cheese and raw veggies for a few weeks. But I have come to learn that your body goes through changes as you get older (like getting pregnant and having babies) and your metabolism slows down. Gone are the days when I could just stave myself and shead inches.
Ever since Alexxa has been born I have been hating my body. Not only am I packing around some extra pounds, I have had to accept the fact that my body is now that of a woman and not a teenager. I now have hips and, well I have out grown some of my favorite tops if you know what I mean. But I have decided that I am going to embrace my new womanly body and not hate it.
So earlier this week, I put on a pair of sweats, dug my sneakers out of my closet, and threw my hair up! I grabbed my iPhone and headphones and set off for the gym! I told myself that I wasn't going to overdue it. My goal was 10 minutes on the eliptical and that was it. The first few minutes were hard, I admit but after I got into it I felt ok about it. Before I knew it my 10 minutes were up and I pushed myself 2 more minutes! I came home feeling great about myself. I went again tonight and went for 15 minutes. My goal is to do this at least 5 days a week and eventually work myself up to 30 minutes cardio and eventually add some weights. For now though, I am starting out slow. Wish me luck!

I have a new job!!!

This has to be quick because I am on my lunch break, but the good news is that I got a new job!
I am going to be a Medical Receptionist at Women's Healthcare Associates which is on the Legacy Meredian Park Hospital Campus. I applied for this position about 2 months ago, and had pretty much lost hope. I had one interview, but it just felt like it went ok. When I didn't hear anything I figured that because of my lack of experience I didn't get it. Well, about 3 weeks after that interview they called me back and said the office wanted to meet me. I went in and I felt like that interview went really well. Before I left, they gave me paperwork to go have a drug test done, and when that happened I figured they were really interested. Most companies won't spend the money on drug testing if they are not serious abou the applicant.
Monday morning I got a phone call from their HR rep who offered me the job. Not only is it perfect because it is in the medical field, but its also 3 minutes from my house, a lot more money (which I wasn't expecting) there is a daycare on site for Alexxa, and I don't have to pay for my health insurance! To top it all off the hours are Monday-Friday 8-5. AMAZING! Believe it or not though, it took me a long time to decide if I wanted to do it or not. It was offered to me Monday and I didn't give my 2 weeks notice to the bank until today. Up to this point I was working part time and this job is full time. Giving up that time with Alexxa is going to be a big sacrifice. But it makes me feel better knowing that she will be at the daycare that is just right downstairs. I am also getting back into school this summer so that I can work towards what I really want to do which is nursing. Someday when I finish school and get the nursing job I want, I will be able to work 12 hour days, or I can even work nights if I want so that I will be able to be with her during they day.
Anyways, I am so excited about this new adventure! I am one step closer to my goal. Yay!

Hugs from complete strangers

This morning after stratigically planning my shopping list while Alexxa was taking her morning nap, we set off the Fred Myer. I just needed to grab a few quick things. So we go to Freddy's and get our stuff, check out. We pack up our stuff and start heading out to the car. I am walking about, oh maybe 15-20 feet behind this guy, probably in his mid to late 20's. He looked pretty average and had two adorable little girls with him. I saw him drop something. I didn't realize until I got a little closer that it was money. So I decide to chase after it because he was almost to his car and with the wind blowing, probably wouldn't have heard me even if I shouted at him. I catch up to the flying money, grab it and now I have to chase after the owner. At this point, I didn't even look at the bill to see what denomination it was, my attention was totally focused on my daughter, shopping cart full of groceries and chasing down this stranger. About the time I start walk over towards him I see him start frantically grabbing at his wallet and checking his pockets. I sort of wave and he looks at me like I am crazy (I'm sure I did look rediculous). I get about 10 feet away from him and wave the money in the air and say, "I saw you drop this!" He starts running over to me and I didn't realize it was a 100 dollar bill until I handed it over to him. For a minute he looked a little puzzled and then flew into this frantic thankful mode and said something along the lines of "Oh my gosh your an angel thank you so much!!!" and then this complete stranger gives me this huge hug. Now, anyone that knows me knows that I am not a toughy-feely-huggy person. I am really not a cuddler, Raynor and I have a king sized bed for a reason...I like my space. But for some reason this complete stranger's hug made me feel good. Let's just say I drove away feeling quite good about myself. However, also on my drive home I felt a little sad.
I think it is sad that in our world today, it is suprising when someone returns money. Obviously I never even considered keeping it, and I can't imagine how anyone could keep money that isn't rightfully theirs. This man that dropped his money was probably like the majority of us, doing the best he can to support his family. If that WERE my hundred dollars it would have been devistating to us to lose it. For all I know that could have been their grocery money for the week, or extra money he had saved to take his wife on a much-anticipated date night. How could anyone not return it?
Anyways, I am glad there are still some honest people in the world and it made me feel good about myself to do the right thing.

Car shopping is in the air...

My old friend Roxanne and I have been through a lot together. She has never let me down, left me stranded, and has kept me safe. Yes, Roxanne is my 1998 Honda Civic DX.
Don't ask me why I named my car Roxanne, or even why I decided it was a girl, I guess it just seemed right at the time. I have had my beloved Honda for 7 years. Its pretty much the only car I have ever owned. When I was learning to drive my parents got me a 1992 Toyota Corolla. Well, after I got my license, being the somewhat snotty teenager I was (sad but true) I decided the old Toyota was just not worthy of me driving it. I wanted something with more spunk. Something more my age. I had been saving money from my jobs for quite a few years, because I was living at home and didn't have any other bills to pay with it. Of course, a lot went to shopping and teenage stuff but I saved a lot too.
For some reason I was drawn Honda Civics. I think because they were young, cute and sporty, just like I was. So right after I got my license I started shopping. I knew I couldn't go into debt because I wasn't old enough to finance a car and even if I was, I didn't have a credit history and my parents absolutely refused to co-sign. So finally one day as I was surfing auto trader I came across a perfect black 1998 Honda Civic DX coupe. I was in love! It was just a hair over my price range, but it was in perfect condition. I drug my dad out to Portland that same night to look at it. The couple that owned it at the time were super nice, and said they loved the car but were selling it because they had a baby on the way. I drove it, and so did my dad. He let me do everything including negotiating the price. Before I knew it we had worked out a deal with them and the car was all mine! The very next day I drove to Portland and picked it up. I was glowing the whole way home!
I have taken very good care of Roxanne. I make sure she gets her oil changed and tires rotated every 3,000 miles. I wash and wax her regularly. I have kept up on all the maitenace including putting a new timing belt in her which cost A LOT of money haha. But she was my pride in joy and I was determined to take good care of her.
Sadly, the time has come that Roxanne and I must part ways. I am no longer the spunky 17 year old I once was. Well, I may still be spunky but I am not 17. I am now the proud mama of a beautiful 5 month old baby girl. Truth of the matter is, I should have got a new car before Alexxa was born. I have been hesitant though, because I love my little car and its paid for and it gets great gas milage. It also runs great and aside from routine maintenance it has never cost me any money. However for the last 5 months that I have been fussing with the seats to get Alexxa in the back and then wrestling with them again to get her carseat out, I realize now that I need a bigger car. I am a tall person and when I put the seat back to where I need it to drive it ends up hitting Alexxa's carseat. I think the infant seat probably takes up more room than the next stage, but still its pretty tight in the back.
Yesterday after I got off work I went over to my parent's house to fix Roxanne up and to get her in tip-top shape for her soon-to-be new owner. I washed the whole exterior, waxed it, shampooed the carpets inside, and cleaned the seats with an upholstry cleaner. And I have to say, now its even harder to part ways because she really looks just like new!
I do dread car shopping though. I am shopping on a budget and planning to use the money that I get from the Honda and whatever I get back from taxes. No car payments for me. After I get my taxes done next week I will have a better idea of what my budget will be. I've been looking around on Craigslist and autotrader, but I haven't really found anything that looks very promising. For the budget range I am in, most cars are either are newer with a ton of miles on them or they are really old. I'm not against old cars except for it needs to have airbags because God forbid if I was to get in an accident I want Alexxa and I to be as safe as possible. But I will just have to be patient and keep looking. I also know I need something with good gas milage. There are so many cute SUV's out there that are roomy and super cute, but I would be spend half my paycheck then on gas, so that is out. I also need something roomy enough in the back seat to eventually fit 2 or maybe even 3 carseats someday.
I hope Roxanne's soon to be new owner will keep her clean, and adore her the way I have. And I look forward to finding a new car that will be my pride in joy.

The Work, Life and Everything Else Balance

You would think I would be a balancing pro right? I am a banker after all. Well, although I might be able to make a cash drawer with a lot of money in it balance, and on occasion even the vault, I can't seem to be able to balance my life. I just can't do it all.
Growing up I had a mom that could did it all. She was a full time college student when I was little. On top of being college student, she also worked a full time job. On top of the full time job and full time classes she was also a mommy and a wife. She handled her responsiblities with a sort of poise and confidence I have only really seen in her. Our house was always clean. Laundry was always done, my brother and I were always happy. Eventually mom graduated college, twice actually. The first time with her bachelors degree, the second with her masters. She eventually worked her way up the corporate ladder at a very prestigious company and landed herself a sweet corner office and a fancy CEO title. It is also true that I didn't grow up with a mom who was there all the time. She wasn't there when I got home from school, and for about 4 years she had a marketing job that required 70% travel. This of course wasn't while I was little, I was in middle school when she had that job. But I don't hold that against her, she did what she needed to do. She had big dreams and she made them happen. She showed us that hard work really does pay off, trust me it was NOT easy for her to get where she is now.
I guess my problem is I don't know how in the heck she did it. I have been pretty much going crazy lately. I work on Tuesday, Wendesday, Friday and Saturday. Alexxa is with a babysitter Tuesday and Wendesday, Raynor has her on Friday, and one of the Grandma's takes her on Saturday. She is all mine on Monday, Thursday, half of Saturday and all day Sunday. Raynor and I have oposite schedules so we don't have a day off together at all. If I'm off he is working, if I am working, he is off. I feel like things just don't get done around the house. On my days off the house is in desperate need of cleaning, but when I'm cleaning I feel guilty for not spending time with Alexxa, but when I don't clean I feel guilty my daughter doesn't have a clean house. Its just so hard to truly enjoy my time with her when I feel like I need to be playing "catch up" on all the stuff I didn't have time to do when I was working.
I also feel guilty that I am even complaining about this. There are a lot of women out there who are full time working moms and somehow make it work. Women like my mom who just seem to make it all work. I just wish I could figure out how to do it...

Job Drama

Its safe to say, I am feeling just a little discouraged. I have been wanting so badly to get into the healthcare field. I enjoy helping people. Its what I am good at and passionate about. Some would argue that you help people in the banking world, and I'm not saying that isn't true, but I want to help people on a deeper level than that.
I have applied for maybe 15 entry level healthcare-related jobs. Nothing extremely complicated or anything, basic entry level mostly receptionist-like positions. They don't pay much, but I don't care. All I want is a job that will expose me to the terminology and pace of the field so that I can learn. A company I can move up within is desirable too, but not a must. And I am sad to say I have not even gotten a call for an interview. All I get back are stupid little emails saying thanks for your interest and good luck with your search, but you don't have enough experience to work here.
Well where the heck do these people expect me to get my experience? Somebody would have to hire me first!
I guess maybe I'm a little torked (to say the least) because I have never really applied for a job that I haven't gotten. Not to sound cocky, but I do tend to interview really well and I guess I just say the right things. One of my hidden talents I guess. Candy, the manager that first hired me when I started to work at Bank of America said, that even though I had no banking, or really even any money-related experience at the time that I blew it out of the water with at my interview. She took a chance on me when she hired me. It was a good thing that she did, because I have been pretty successful. Naomi told me last week that I could go far in banking if I wanted too, which was very flattering to hear from someone in her position. However not what I want to do with my life. Being the amazing person she is, she completely supports my decision.
So I guess I hope and pray that someone sitting at their desk in an HR department will come across my resume and decide to AT LEAST give me an interview. If I just had the chance to go in there and tell them how badly I want into the field and that I am so excited get back into school and become a nurse. Maybe even some day a Nurse Practioner. What I need is for someone to take a chance on me the way Candy did. I know I am a hard worker. I know that I wouldn't dissapoint them. And I know I can do this. If I at least got in interview and then still got rejected, at least I would then know I did the best I could.
Anyways, I guess the only thing I can do is keep sending in my resumes. Eventually maybe someone will contact me for an interview.

No more excuses....

I've decided that I will no longer be making excuses for myself. I am tired of sitting around complaining about my body and being close to tears in dressing rooms when I try on clothes. If I don't do anything about it, then I shouldn't complain right?
Lately, I have been very inspired by some friends and co-workers. They are all busy people with jobs and families and if they can find time in their day to work out and take care of themselves then why can't I? My mom is a hard core business woman who works 100+ hours a week and she still finds time to go for her walks! Even when she is on business trips, she takes her sneakers and sweat pants and heads for the hotel gym while she's there. So, I know I can do it, its just a matter of making it happen, and that part is only up to me. I mean really all it would take is 30 minutes to an hour to head to the gym, and since we have one here at our apartment I would just have to walk across the parking lot. There really is no excuse for not going over there. It is open 24/7 so I could go when Alexxa is asleep for the night, or in the morning.
Last night I started looking online at spring/summer clothes. I didn't have to really go through that torture last year, because I was pregnant, and well I never had a problem with maturnity clothes. They just always looked good on me! But this summer is going to be different. I will not be pregnant, and I would rather not sit around feeling sorry for myself not wanting to go to the pool and flat out refusing to put on shorts. I have always hated my legs. And does it seem like the shorts just keep getting shorter every year? I think they do! The last few years I have only wore capri pants or burmuda shorts because I have been sooooo self concious about my legs. Raynor is always encouraging that I look fine, but I dont listen lol! But this year, I am determined to wear real shorts and feel confident about myself. I'm definitely not saying I want to dress like a hoochie mama, but I would like to be able to wear real summer clothes and not feel terrible about it.
Anyways, here is what I am going to do. I am going to start out small, and easy. I am going to commit to going to the gym 5 days a week for no more than an hour. And I will start on something easy like the epliptical or the treadmill. I have always enjoyed the eliptical because I can go a long time on it without getting tired, and I think its a pretty good work out for your legs and theighs. As far as food goes, I'm just going to start eating healthier, and cutting down the amount that I would normally eat. You see, with me its more about portion control because I really can eat a lot if I want too! The other night I had 1 slice of pizza instead of my usual 3 and I was prefectly fine and no longer hungry. I will not totally give up the treats either. I don't think its wrong to treat yourself to some ice cream once a week, or some yummy popcorn at the movies. But there are also healthier options for treats too. I think frozen yogurt is delicious and its also WAY less calories.
Anyways, this is my commitment to myself. I know I can do it, and maybe for once in long time I will feel good about myself this summer! Go me!

Career Changes

Its really no secret that I haven't been happy at the bank for quite some time. Its not the people, or really even the job, banking is just clearly not for me. I feel like I have been there long enough now (4 years) to know if it is really for me or not. And clearly...its not!
I've been doing a lot of thinking lately and came to the obvious conclusion that it is time for a career change. Its taken me months of thinking and a lot of weighing back and forth, but I think that being a nurse would be the perfect job for me. I don't faint at the sight of blood, I'm not squeemish, and some of the gross things that nurses have to do, wouldn't really phase me. It also pays very well, not that money is everything, but it certainly helps! I also would be helping people, which is my biggest passion. The hours are also amazing! I would be working 12 hour shifts 3 days a week. And if I wanted to I could work nights, so I would only be away from Alexxa when she is sleeping.
So obviously I need to get back into school, which I am planning on doing this summer. In the meantime though, I feel like I need a change of sceanery. Something that will expose me to the medical world, so I can learn the terminology and also a company that I can grow within. I've applied for several jobs at various different hospitals. Since I have just begun my search, I haven't got any phone calls yet. I really don't expect the right opportunity to come along very soon though, just because I don't have any experience in the medical field and there are so many qualified applicants out there right now. I am really crossing my fingers to work for Legacy. They are such a great company, and they would help me pay for a portion of my nursing school. I can take a lot of the certifications at the hospital actually, and at my favorite price...FREE! I have applied for I think...like 3 or 4 positions there so hopefully something will work out. I'm not even looking to make a lot of money, just to learn.
Right now, I am probably the happiest I have ever been since working at the bank. I have a great team at work, and a manager that truly supports and cares about her employees. Because she has been so fabulous and has supported me in all my personal and career decisions, I decided I didn't want to leave her in the dark about all this. I would have felt really bad if she had gotten a phone call about me applying for jobs elsewhere and got the wrong idea. So last week I decided to sit down and talk to Naomi about it. I wasn't really sure if it was the right decision, but what was the worst thing that could have happened? And she was more than supportive of me! She said she wants all of her employees to be happy and fallow their dreams. And she asked me to keep her in the loop about interviews and things. That made me feel so much better about it!
I am so excited about the possiblilities of this new adventure! Wish me luck!

My first sick day as a mommy

I think one of the biggest challenges of motherhood is when your sick. You see, when your a mom you can't just lay around and be lazy and feel sorry for yourself when sick. I am a huge baby and wimp, so typically thats what I do when I don't feel well. I lay around in bed, while Raynor waits on me. I eat chicken noodle soup and catch up on all my daytime soaps. But now that I am a mommy, those days are over. Life must go on, no matter how crappy I feel.
These last few days I have had major neck and shoulder pain and I've been feeling really crappy. This morning was worse though. I woke up to Alexxa talking and cooing and being all cute in her crib. Raynor said he would go in and get her while I made her bottle. Usually when he is home, I insist on going in and getting her because shes all happy and smilily and its my favorite time of the day with her. But today because my neck has been so sore, I didn't want to lift her so I had him get her up and changed while I made the bottle. Well, let me tell ya, I made it to the kitchen, opened the cupboard to get the bottle and made a straight b-line for the bathroom. My head was spinning, and I was all of the sudden very nauseous. I've thrown up a few times, right now I feel a little better but still really tired and weak. I really don't think its the flu, its probably got something to do with my neck pain I've had. I have been taking some really strong pain killers, and I have always been sensitive to narcotic pain medication. Raynor didn't want to go to work, but he doesn't have any paid time for sick days and we really can't afford for him to take an unpaid day. I called my mom and she has meetings scheduled for the whole day at work. She said if it gets really bad to call her though, and she could leave if she HAD too.
So far today, Alexxa has been pretty good. She played on the floor this morning for a bit under her play gym. When she got tired of that she did alright in her swing, and now she is laying with me in my bed. She seems to be pretty content with me right here next to her. Soon, it will be time for her morning nap so I'm hoping she gives me a good one today.
Anyways, please keep me in your rhoughts and prayers today, its going to be tough.